Contemplations Atop a Mountain High: Pastoral Idyll in D major

A bit of a throwback piece: I believe this was the second piece I wrote after coming out of a rather worrisome bout of composer's block, some time around February 2023. I was in somewhat of a rush to write this piece (for no other reason other than I wanted to get it done as soon as possible so I don't fall back into a creative slump), and I had gotten it done in three days. After finishing the piece on the first day, I was compelled to add more and more content until it felt right to me, and spent the third day adding finishing touches. It is my longest piece to date (so far), at around 7 and a half minutes. Compared to my earlier pieces, this one is more harmonically diverse, and contains several modulations to different keys (shocker!).

This piece is written in a (sort of?) ABCDA form (although I did not envision it as such at first): I named it 'Contemplations Atop a Mountain High' as I felt the piece's meandering nature sort of felt like the remembrances of a person contemplating the nature of their existence before rejoicing in it as the dawn breaks. I was inspired a great deal by the works of Liszt (especially the Allegro pastorale from his Album d'un Voyageur) and the nocturnes of John Field; I lifted the name 'Idyll' from a piece Arnold Schoenberg wrote before his plunge into atonalism.

Would appreciate some feedback on this!

I think this work has a lot of very good material but it has the typical problem of wanting to make a long piece. It lacks a clear structure. And more than that, it has parts that use different harmonic languages, without a developed transition between them.
The transitions.... are one of the most difficult parts.

The piece starts out using quartal harmonies and, suddenly, in measure 8 and on, it uses triads and functional harmony as if nothing had happened. The entrance chord in measure 15 is quite strange with a b9 (F#-G).
In measure 26 the chord is also strange as it has F# above and F natural in the bass. Of course there are major-minor chords but in a tonal context like this one they don't fit.
The Ben poco agitato part is confusing, I don't know if it's intentional but there are two different harmonies in each hand. The main conflict is that there are moments with G# up and G down.
The next part A tempo, decisamente, has its grace, it's like a march. But it doesn't have much to do with what comes before and after.
There are some parts that are related and they are the ones that use the arpeggio motive, similar to a nocturne, but they are separated by the other parts.
On the other hand, in this arpeggio pattern you have to be careful because after all, you are doing melody-accompaniment counterpoint, and it is quite clear that the intervals are not respected but the chord notes below and above are used with passing notes, that's why there are quite a few dissonances or moments of consecutive octaves.

There is certainly some work involved here. But sometimes it is better to opt for shorter works with structure. I, for one, don't worry if something is short or if it "can be developed".

8 hours ago, Luis Hernández said:

I think this work has a lot of very good material but it has the typical problem of wanting to make a long piece. It lacks a clear structure. And more than that, it has parts that use different harmonic languages, without a developed transition between them.

I totally agree with you there, @Luis Hernández. I suppose it's also the fact that I rushed through most of this piece's construction that also contributed to the mistakes in voicing, the unintended dissonances, and the clunky transitions. I suppose the impulse to write overcame my sensibilities in terms of structuring music and writing better harmonies (which, to be fair, still haven't fully developed yet).

8 hours ago, Luis Hernández said:

The transitions.... are one of the most difficult parts.

Such is the case indeed. Like I said before, I decided to call the piece a 'Contemplation' because of how separate each theme felt to me; I do realise now, though, that that's just because the music is disjointed. I'll keep that in mind the next time I write a piece.

That being said (shameless plug incoming), I'd suggest you check out the introduction to my upcoming symphony! I feel it's a great deal better than this piece in terms of structure and harmony, and the transitions don't suck (at least I think). Do check it out and give me advice, I'd appreciate it! 😉

Hey @Awsumerguy,

I do find some of the passages very contemplative. My fav. passage will probably the Andantino Grazioso section since I like the simplicity in it. I agree with @Luis Hernández that the passages are not cohered enough. I think rather than having them bunched together into one piece, you definitely have enough materials for several contemplative pieces!

-For the opening material is beautiful, but I think you can have it reappear in later passages, as in @Omicronrg9's famous nocturnes when he often has the opening material reappears in later passages!

-For the Andantino Grazioso section it's interesting that no dominant chord appears there, and you substitute a I6/4 chord for it, for example in b.14 and 19. Maybe I will just go for a conventional dominant chord there.

-For b.41 quasi minuetto, I think a minuet is a dance in triple meter, so you may just use other words to substitute it! Maybe Leggiero will be a good choice.

-For b.56-57 I'm confused as well, as I think you are going for a F minor chord there but no. Maybe you can just change the F natural to E#, Eb to D# and Ab to G# will make it clearer. So in b.62 your opening is returning right? I think you can have it stay longer and let audiences notice that!

-In b.70 suddenly the texture change, and I think you're going for a fugue but actually not. I think the passage doesn't fit here though, since it's too forceful for me, both in terms of the texture, dynamics and mood, and the ending of the section is too strong like the actual end of the piece, when you have no transition to link to the section after it.

-The last section has the Andantino Grazioso materials coming back at E major, and the codetta ends with the opening. It seems casual for me but it's absolutely fine if the piece is shorter.

23 hours ago, Awsumerguy said:

I suppose it's also the fact that I rushed through most of this piece's construction that also contributed to the mistakes in voicing, the unintended dissonances, and the clunky transitions. I suppose the impulse to write overcame my sensibilities in terms of structuring music and writing better harmonies (which, to be fair, still haven't fully developed yet).

I think it's just that you are in a rush! I mean giving how good you are in your symphonic introduction I don't think your harmonies are not fully developed at all!

23 hours ago, Awsumerguy said:

That being said (shameless plug incoming), I'd suggest you check out the introduction to my upcoming symphony! I feel it's a great deal better than this piece in terms of structure and harmony, and the transitions don't suck (at least I think). Do check it out and give me advice, I'd appreciate it! 😉

It's not shameless at all! I agree that your symphonic introduction is a great deal better than this, not because this one is bad but because that one is very good.

On 7/19/2023 at 2:46 AM, Luis Hernández said:

There are some parts that are related and they are the ones that use the arpeggio motive, similar to a nocturne, but they are separated by the other parts.
On the other hand, in this arpeggio pattern you have to be careful because after all, you are doing melody-accompaniment counterpoint, and it is quite clear that the intervals are not respected but the chord notes below and above are used with passing notes, that's why there are quite a few dissonances or moments of consecutive octaves.

I agree on this too. Just make sure you treat the broken chords as if they are real chords and prevent the parallels as in SATB. I think you are learning from Schubert here to use the accompaniment as a linking device, which is good but also is the point Schubert's being criticized sometimes LoL. 

On 7/19/2023 at 2:46 AM, Luis Hernández said:

The transitions.... are one of the most difficult parts.

I agree absolutely Luis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thx for sharing!

Henry

2 hours ago, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said:

Hey @Awsumerguy,

I do find some of the passages very contemplative. My fav. passage will probably the Andantino Grazioso section since I like the simplicity in it. I agree with @Luis Hernández that the passages are not cohered enough. I think rather than having them bunched together into one piece, you definitely have enough materials for several contemplative pieces!

I'd definitely consider it, @Henry Ng Tsz Kiu! I've always been looking to write a set of songs/pieces, and I feel this juvenilia may provide ample material for one of those.

That being said, I'm devoting most of my compositional output to my symphony at the moment: it's a massive undertaking, so I'm not sure if I'll have any time left to write other pieces in the meantime, so stay tuned! 😃