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Posted (edited)

Hi everyone.

I'm excited to share my latest work for orchestra, with a very provisional score.

Still have to tidy a whole load of enharmonic spelling issues, and add expression marks, dynamics, etc...

I think the piece may be finished; but perhaps I should extend it further? Let me know what you think?

The instrumentation in the score doesn't quite match the rendition. That's because the original instrumentation isn't very practical: so I decided to replace bass flutes and oboes with a more conventional orchestration for the score.

I think my original instrumentation sounds nicer: so I've left it in the rendition for now.

Would be interested to hear whether my triplet figures in the violins are playable?
Not sure I need the staccato markings in those passages? That's just the way Notion decided to interpret my midi data.

Not at all sure F major is the right key signature. MuseScore chose it automatically; but it doesn't look right to me. Possibly should be G major?

N.B. I've posted the first part of this piece before, in the Incomplete Works forum; but have extended it a lot since then.

New revisions of this work will be posted lower down the thread.

Edited by Alex Weidmann
Updated audio file and removed silly mistakes from score
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  • Like 1
Posted

Hey Alex,

I love how you utilise the opening chord progression in b.1 throughout the whole piece and for me it”s very coherent to do so.

I am not sure why you have to use two lines for the cello. Is it the Musescore thing again?

On 1/20/2024 at 3:21 AM, Alex Weidmann said:

Not at all sure F major is the right key signature. MuseScore chose it automatically; but it doesn't look right to me. Possibly should be G major?

I think it’s good for the beginning since it’s G Dorian there. But after that I am sure it will be better to have different key signatures, since you definitely modulate the music in the midway. 
 

On 1/20/2024 at 3:21 AM, Alex Weidmann said:

I think the piece may be finished; but perhaps I should extend it further? Let me know what you think?

I think the development is great, but the ending is quite abrupt and you should add a coda here.

 

On 1/20/2024 at 3:21 AM, Alex Weidmann said:

Would be interested to hear whether my triplet figures in the violins are playable?
Not sure I need the staccato markings in those passages? That's just the way Notion decided to interpret my midi data.

I think it works, it’s up to you whether you want non legato or staccato for the violin.

Thx for your update!

Henry

  • Thanks 1
Posted (edited)
On 1/22/2024 at 1:48 PM, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said:

I am not sure why you have to use two lines for the cello. Is it the Musescore thing again?

Hey Henry, many thanks for your review.

My idea for the opening, is that I may have one soloist playing from each string section; apart from the celli, where I would have two. That would provide a more intimate sound for the opening passage, rather than using the whole string orchestra.
So it would make sense to have the two solo parts for cello on separate staves at that point.

Then later in the piece, I decided to keep the divisi celli on separate staves, as it's easier to read.

 

Have added a short coda as you suggested, in the version attached below.

 

Edited by Alex Weidmann
Added new score with coda
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  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Here's an updated score for this piece. 

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Posted

Hi @Alex Weidmann!

For me I find the piece less coherent from the perspective of rhythm.  First, I think the piece should be in 3/2.  Here's my version of your first phrase:

image.png

I have changed it to be this way because I believe that (sometimes) keeping the rhythms simple makes them more memorable and lucid to the listener.  Writing too many syncopations or sudden starts of notes not on the beat can throw the listener off and they won't know how to rhythmically interpret the music.  If you syncopate without the right context or preparation the effect will just be lost and the listener will interpret different notes as the downbeat.  That's my reasoning for why I would write your melody this way.  Those are my thoughts.  Thanks for sharing!

Peter

  • Thanks 1
Posted
9 hours ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said:

I think the piece should be in 3/2.


I made a choral version of this work before Christmas, where I did use 3/2 (see link below).

It's quite similar to what you notated above.

The idea behind the off-beats/syncopation was to build the piece on shifting sands, so the harmonies and melodies are slightly out of sync with each other. I thought this would add extra interest for the listener; but perhaps I took it too far.

I've heard the piece so many times now, it seems ok to me; but if I was listening for the first time, maybe it would sound wrong.

Many thanks for your comments.

 

 

Posted (edited)

Here is the score in 3/2, with some other minor tweaks.

Edited by Alex Weidmann
Enharmonic spelling changes
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Posted (edited)

Here's a newly improved rendition, using Muse Sounds combined with Music Studio for iPad. 

Also added some extra material to make a more dramatic climax near the end.

Edited by Alex Weidmann
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Posted
Quote

 

HI there,

I am not sure if the melody fits the oboe register well.  You want to reconsider what instrument fits the best with that given range and register. 

  • Like 1
Posted

Thanks for listening!

It's true I am using the extremes of the oboe range; though a clarinet or flute would not have quite the same beguiling quality I'm looking for. I really love the tonal colour you get from a double-reed. 

  • 3 months later...

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