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Hi @ComposedBySam,

The opening is really expressive. The phrase Turing to tonic major is really Schubertian for me. I think the modulation in b.25 from F minor to A minor is slightly abrupt personally. However the A minor theme is very expressive with beautiful accompaniments and interaction, the pizz. Is good too. I like b.70 when you change keys with smooth voice leading. The texture in the next G minor passage is real nice. The cadenza in b.84 is lovely, but maybe a first inversion chord will make the Neapolitan chord less stable? It’s personal though. That D major theme after the cadenza is real nice. I think the Bb major modulation is good but I think you can extend the previous D major theme more since it’s beautiful and the mood here is suddenly changed. Overall I think this piece is a real nice work with very expressive power, with only slight modifications on the transitions will be great!

Thx for sharing!

Henry

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Posted
4 hours ago, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said:

Hi @ComposedBySam,

The opening is really expressive. The phrase Turing to tonic major is really Schubertian for me. I think the modulation in b.25 from F minor to A minor is slightly abrupt personally. However the A minor theme is very expressive with beautiful accompaniments and interaction, the pizz. Is good too. I like b.70 when you change keys with smooth voice leading. The texture in the next G minor passage is real nice. The cadenza in b.84 is lovely, but maybe a first inversion chord will make the Neapolitan chord less stable? It’s personal though. That D major theme after the cadenza is real nice. I think the Bb major modulation is good but I think you can extend the previous D major theme more since it’s beautiful and the mood here is suddenly changed. Overall I think this piece is a real nice work with very expressive power, with only slight modifications on the transitions will be great!

Thx for sharing!

Henry

 

Those are some really helpful and thoughtful ideas and advices! Thanks for taking the time going into depth and analysing the piece. I will surely consider your criticisms as I think they are quite valid responses. Thanks again for taking the time to listen and reply 🙂

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