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Posted (edited)

Hey----

  I thought the melodic material/treatment were good---  You might want to pass the melody around to violas/cellos for variety.

 

2 things---

Your form is ABA--- ARIA form, technically.  For a rondo, the minimum is a ABACA.    There are many elaborations on this, but the two interposing sections of contrasting material are common.

The return to the A theme is TOO ABRUPT.    The style is classical, and in that spirit, this would be a violation of the norm.  If it was your intention, that's a different thing.   The piece might be better served by a measure or two preparing a transition.

 

All that said, I liked it!

Edited by Rich
Posted

I liked it very much. Indeed, I listened a few times. Just two things: The Adagio part shifts in m. 20 to a rhythm similar to a 6/4 time signature. Have you tried simplifying the score by switching the time signature? And the change from the Adagio to the refrain is really abrupt. One possibility to connect two parts is to have a dominant - tonic relationship between the end of one part and the beginning of the other.

Funnily enough, I hear the form different than @Rich: Refrain m. 1-6, first couplet m. 6-15; refrain m.16-m.19; second couplet m.20-32; third refrain m33-40.

More like ritornello form: a - b - a' - c - a''.

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