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Posted

This is a chamber music arrangement of an orchestra work I composed.

Mark

As always - comments appreciated

 

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Posted

Just to add a bit more info about the work.  This is a program work ... the idea - walking into a county fair grounds and walking about.

Mark

Posted

Hi all,

I did some work on the mid-section.  I have not shared it yet with my Mentor.  Appreciate some feedback.  Primarily, I am aiming for a good "arc" good beginning - some build-up ... hold interest and then letting it pass to the next section.  Look at change of tempo in the 6/8 section - begins measure 53.  The feel here - is curiosity and sneaking about in contrast the lovely lilting walk that precedes it.

All comments appreciated.

Mark

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Posted

hey MJFOBOE---

 

  I really enjoyed this. 

         The writing was varied and fluid.

 

  A few impressions--

   Would a minor key help in setting up a contrast for the middle section--nothing too dark, but a hint of danger?

  The transitions:  From the middle section to return of a theme (93) might be helped by a measure or two of transition?

 The same at the end at  106?

 

   An engaging piece.

Posted

Rich thank you for reviewing my work and for your suggestions.  I added 2 measures at 93 for a smoother and more interesting transition and added a rit. in measure 106 which works nicely.  I am not sure about the minor key though ... initial experimentation has not yielded the expected results ....

I am very pleased you enjoyed the piece. 

Mark

Posted

Hey Mark

This is really nice! This piece is really clear and concise, I think you demonstrate the benefits of having a mentor look over your music and help you think critically about it. I'll always say this about wind pieces, but always think about the breathing. The flute gets a nice break, but how about for the other instruments? I think when you have 3 different tonal colors, it's easy to keep using all of them, but remember that winds are very unique and sound great on their own too. Honestly, I think if you removed some of the denser moments, it might give you ironically a more colorful piece. Just in spots, ofc.

You seemed to be really focused on making everything proper, as in watching vertical harmonies, clear cadences, capturing your programmatic idea, cohesiveness, etc. etc. That's all done in a great way, so I'll mention other things lol. 

What about instrument registers? The clarinet has so many colors, and only seldom did you explore it's chalumeau register. You could of had a whole moment letting the clarinet hold deep rich low notes while the bassoon took the lead. Or the high bassoon register? It's very song like to me, I'm currently messing around with it 😄 

The trills in the beginning were cool, what if you used them as a segue for your "Pictures at an Exhibition" style form? Or even just a chord or something to signify the next amusement park venture, even if only here and there. Sometimes the mini-movements felt mushed together. 

Maybe this is for the future, but what about variation in the rhythm a bit more? Steady quarters and eighths are fine for a while, but without clever syncopation or underlying movement in the music, it can get a bit stale after a while. 

Just some things to think about. In all though, from what I remember of your music, this piece sounds like a tremendous step in the right direction of progress. Your mentor will be proud of your finished work. Thanks for sharing, Mark, always look forward to your updates. 🙂 

Posted

Thanks for the review.  Interesting you mention the texture/density ... may initial presentation in the mid-section was quite sparse ... so I aimed to beef it up a bit.  I'll review it with you comment in mind.

I will also revisit the clarinet and bassoon ranges as well as more variation in the rhythms ..... as see what it brings to the table.  And yes, the transitions are always a challenge!!!

Thank you for following my postings and seeing growth in my work. 

Mark

PS: I did mention in a previous post - my orchestra composition Elegy was rehearsed by my community orchestra. 🙂

Posted

So I had my meeting with my mentor.  It was quite interesting .... I introduced a four note rhythm in the clarinet for two measures .... dot dot dot dot eight notes 6/8 time.  It was a new "idea"  a little thing that might have gone unnoticed.  New ideas need to be developed! .... so I incorporated the rhythm in other measures too.  And yes ... it improved the work.  Additionally, to make the work a bit more off as per my mentor I changed some of resolutions to more unexpected cadences.  And it gives the work a bit more charm.  For those interested - When I review the changes with my mentor I will re-post.

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