Feedback on Piano Piece?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wQcGiEmtRW3gxqd6z4rFj6RFXktfavTT/view?usp=sharing

Hi, can someone give me any feedback to improve this piece? thanks

15 hours ago, Ho Sen Ken said:

https://drive.google.com/drive/home

Hi, can someone give me any feedback to improve this piece? thanks

Hi @Ho Sen Ken and welcome to the forum.  Your link doesn't seem to take me to any of your music files but to my own Google docs home directory.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1wQcGiEmtRW3gxqd6z4rFj6RFXktfavTT/view?usp=sharing

shoot sorry here is the link.

This piece seems to be quite harmonically and rhythmically complex - could you provide a recording or rendering to give the members and myself a better idea of how it might sound?

Hello @Ho Sen Ken,

The harmony sounds really complex! I also love the thick texture of the piece. That modulation in b.18 is quite lovely! The ending on Gb major is quite surprising for me as it’s the first time appearing in the piece! Thx for sharing and joining the forum!

Henry

Hi again @Ho Sen Ken!

Now that I can listen to the piece along with the score, I am able to admire the many idiomatic tempo fluctuations in the various series of chords which let your music breathe.  The dynamics and dovetailing in and out of the foreground of the various melodies and accompanimental patterns also make it sound more like a real performance and it takes quite a bit of craft to be able to do that.  Even though you didn't play this yourself, I can tell from how it was written that you must be an accomplished pianist yourself.  I think you succeeded at writing a "song without words" with this piece.  Thanks for sharing!

Hello @Ho Sen Ken, I like the piece, What was the inspiration behind it?

Now to the feedback: I think it is okay to have such a disperse and irregular accompaniment in this style, but not to the degree where you have it here, because the extreme unpredictability kills the interest that one might develop while listening to the piece. Not even Scriabin sonatas have such a diversified accompaniment. The same goes for the melody, it relies too much on the chromaticisms that you use in the harmony, and therefore, it is not memorable. You could try to use more sequences or a specific interval.

What structure are you using, is it AB or AA’? I cannot seem to draw any similar characteristics between the presto and the first theme apart from the rhythms. Is this a sketch of the exposition of a sonata?

In bar 4, The left hand chords sound like a different melodic line, you could try writing that as a different melodic line. In bar 10, for the fermata to be notated correctly it should be put in both the staves

For the presto section I would notate the melody and bass notes as different voices to the repeated.

Even though I have criticised some things, I believe that it is extremely well written harmonically and the melodies and accompaniment are really thoughtful, but too chromatic to be recognised.

Thanks for sharing

Manuel

Edit: Maybe you could try stating the theme monophonically or with very light and predictable accompaniment first so it gets into the listener’s head. Scriabin often chooses to present his lyrical themes in his sonatas with light accompaniment at first, because as it is atonal, it would not be remembered if it is presented in a complex accompaniment.