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Posted

I've been working on this piece for wind quartet and I would really appropriate some impartial feedback from fresh eyes/ears.

First thing is the accidentals are a bit all over the place... I mean to fix that but I'm ignoring that for the moment.

I think the transitions are are fine for the most part but I'm wondering about the overall coherency or any issues that might stick out to other or more experienced ears. 

The ending was rushed and I'm not sure how clear that is. I'm still thinking about what to do with it. I liked the idea of that simple ending with the motif, but I wrote it attached to some other part of the piece so now it feels grafted on to this ending. 

Any feedback and criticism very much welcome!

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Posted

Hi again @UrKr!

I like the conceptual construction of this piece!  In many passages there is an underlying undercurrent of unease which seems to me is not necessarily a deliberate vibe you meant to create for the whole duration of the piece but an occasional occurrence.  You already mentioned that some of the accidentals/chromatics need to be fixed so I won't go into that save to say that you have the correct enharmonics in the latter half of the piece.  The glissandi sound really artificial and would be impractical to play at the rapid rate you have in this rendition.  They go by so fast that I can't even tell if they're being played as chromatic glissandi or diatonic.  If you haven't already, I'd suggest switching them to diatonic.  There's also the issue of breathing - some passages call for the performers to (for example) perform really long trills which they'd need circular breathing to execute.  At measure 123 - 124 you have the flute doing a half step trill from G to Ab and then the oboe a trill from Ab to ... B natural?  I think you probably also meant for that trill to go to Bb as it sounds really strange when it's a trill of a augmented 2nd (which is technically more of a tremolo LoL).  The bassoon in measure 126 doesn't have a chance to breathe for .. 24 measures!  Really encourage you to rethink that passage.  Thanks for sharing this interesting/cerebral/stimulating piece!

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Posted

@PeterthePapercomPoser

Thank you for your feedback!!

You know, I was thinking that I was getting myself in trouble with those glissandi and lack of concern about breath. 

I admit I am quite ignorant with regard to technicalities with wind instruments. For instance I know that a violin can play long legato phrases even if the player has to change bows since the changes can be disguised with technique. I guess I sort of ASSumed a similar thing with the winds. 

The trill part is particularly egregious. Maybe I'll try a more dynamic staggered sequence of trills where the 3 trilling players cover for each other between breaths. It might even be a more interesting effect as opposed to the straightforward held trill.

Now with glissandi I might have gotten even more carried away. They sort of solved a block since they're so different that they work as a sudden transition (I think). Looking more into it, if I got it correctly, the clarinet is best for glissandi. Flute struggles a bit more. Oboe and bassoon ever harder. 

They're currently chromatic. I might just notate something more precise. I suppose the glissandi at the end are even more problematic. I'm thinking I have to listen to more wind music with attention to these issues to get a better intuition.

11 hours ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said:

At measure 123 - 124 you have the flute doing a half step trill from G to Ab and then the oboe a trill from Ab to ... B natural?  I think you probably also meant for that trill to go to Bb as it sounds really strange when it's a trill of a augmented 2nd (which is technically more of a tremolo LoL). 

Oof, I'll have to give that another look!

 

11 hours ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said:

In many passages there is an underlying undercurrent of unease which seems to me is not necessarily a deliberate vibe you meant to create for the whole duration of the piece but an occasional occurrence. 

It's definitely meant to be more on the uneasy side of the spectrum. Though it's possible you detected something unintentional. Do you mean the ratio between dissonance and consonance - as in I might have added a dissonance I hadn't intended? Or perhaps something less definite?

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