Suggestion needed to continue sonata

 Good afternoon/evening! First post here,

Before I work on the development, I need suggestions. There are three themes in this Sonata (I'm not using traditional forms) I'm not really sure if I like mm60-63 and 70-73 in the third theme. It's really awkward and I don't know how to fix it😅 What I find weird is:

1. F# pause (kinda fixed it in the 2nd repetition? but 1st idk how)
2. Bridge to the development (by that i mean 79-82, i really like 75-78 and 83-86 but the connection is meh)
3. m88

If you have opinions about other parts feel free to comment 🙂 Audio is flawed: the fermatas/caesuras aren't working

Hello @juiceDeLemon, welcome to the forum.

For the first F sharp pause I would maybe repeat the note with the dotted quaver-semiquaver rhythm that you used just before for two bars and pausing in the middle of the second bar

I like the bridge part that you said that doesn’t fit. You could try to approach a small climax after what you have finished using just crotchets if you think that would be better (what I think doesn’t fit as much is the 11/8 bar)

For bar 88 I would mark poco meno mosso, so the difference between the staccato and the pedalled part is more noticeable. What surprises me the most about this bar is the addition of pedal markings. When I began listening the piece I thought that the absence of pedal markings was a decision made to not overnotate the score, but when I saw this pedal markings I was shocked. By putting this pedal markings do you mean that only that should be played with pedal? or that in the rest of the piece pedalling is free except here. (In that case I would recommend marking the beginning with pedale ad libitum. And mark with senza pedale or with pedal markings the places where it is necessary) I think the first theme, the imperial part and maybe the more calm monophonic section need pedal. After all it is the main distinctive feature of the piano.

I really like this work and I am looking forward to listen to how it advances and develops.

Thanks for sharing

Manuel 

PS: This doesn’t feel very atonal, what type of atonality are you using? (or is is tonal, but too chromatic and you didn’t mark a key signature)

PS(2): Are you happy with Dorico as a music editor?

Thanks!

F#: Need to try it out on piano to reply. (I may have another idea)

Bridge: This is definitely the way. I can explain the 11/8 measure. I am modelling the scale texture from m46 in Beethoven's appassionsta, but stamping my inverted pitch from the semi-quaver "motif". And then i felt like "12/8" was too boring so i made it 11/8. So essentially it is just an expanded semi-quaver motif.

88: i wrote the wrong number. i meant 69 🤦‍♂️(i should not write on forum at 4am) i would still give a response: I use pedal marks when I request unusual pedalling. I have put invisible pedal marks for playback most of the time. I'll put pedale ad lib

PS1: If you have heard of Scriabin's Sonata no.5, that's it. A mix of mystic scale (contributing the weird enharmonic spelling in imperial, style closer to sonata no.7 than 5), octatonic scale (half of second theme, not quite sonata no.5, more like no.9), "traditional" tonic-dominant tonality (first theme) and tritone tonality (like instead of tonic-dominant you have tonic-tritone). You can't really put a key signature when the main motif moves from Eb -> Bb -> C and then shifted a min3rd downwards lol. I have written more atonal pieces.

PS2: Dorico is excellent. As my style grow in complexity, I find MuseScore limiting (i would've used paper for poly-tempo part) and too slow. You can use keyboard to input most elements in the music (dynamics, tempo, super helpful: moving/extending notes rhythmically etc) Its dev team is also the most hardworking out of all pro tools for notation. (active in forums, frequent useful updates, not broken (like bugnale)) It also aligns with my neovim (a terminal text editor which uses keyboard only) way of editing

I'll upload the new version after I test it all out (It's midnight again)

On 8/17/2024 at 8:40 PM, juiceDeLemon said:

i should not write on forum at 4am

Really relatable. Lol😅

As a listener, I hear nothing wrong with that bar. But if I were the composer I would maybe say that it is too abrupt (is that what is wrong?) Or maybe you had something else written, you got used to it and now it sounds weird. Anyway, to solve the abruptness something I personally would do is to make a descending line (maybe in intercalated octaves) taking advantage of the momentum and intensity accumulated during the “imperial episode, and then do the ascending line that you have already written (I think this would require changing the harmony to maintain the tension, but I’m not sure)

On 8/17/2024 at 8:40 PM, juiceDeLemon said:

If you have heard of Scriabin's Sonata no.5

Yes, I really like the work. Now I can see why it sounded “tonal” to me, but I was unable to classify it. I am too used to listening his later fully atonal sonatas or to more tonal romantic works. Is the fifth your favourite sonata by Scriabin?

On 8/17/2024 at 8:40 PM, juiceDeLemon said:

PS2: Dorico is excellent. As my style grow in complexity, I find MuseScore limiting (i would've used paper for poly-tempo part) and too slow. You can use keyboard to input most elements in the music (dynamics, tempo, super helpful: moving/extending notes rhythmically etc) Its dev team is also the most hardworking out of all pro tools for notation. (active in forums, frequent useful updates, not broken (like bugnale)) It also aligns with my neovim (a terminal text editor which uses keyboard only) way of editing

Thank you so much for this suggestion. I tried it today and I really liked it, though I am still not very used to it and I am really slow with it. I think I will start composing with it.

Hello @juiceDeLemon and welcome to the forum!

Measures 76 - 82 especially remind me of Ravel's Gaspard de la Nuit - Scarbo.  An enjoyable piece and one I would definitely like to see completed!  Although thusfar I don't really hear it as a sonata.  To me in just seems like a through-composed post-impressionistic piece.  Thanks for sharing!