MJFOBOE Posted October 9 Share Posted October 9 Hi all, I'm posting my newest project. This is the initial first complete attempt. My mentor has been busy and I only shared this with him once at an earlier stage of development. There is no title ... since this is the first work I have composed without some imaginary picture/theme. So it's just melody and rhythm for effect. All comments/suggestions/etc .... appreciated. MP3 Play / pause JavaScript is required. 0:00 0:00 volume > next menu Untitled1 > next PDF Untitled1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJFOBOE Posted October 12 Author Share Posted October 12 Finally, met with my mentor and reviewed my score. Two suggestions were forthcoming: He suggested developing the motif at measure 14 - in the midsection of the work and work for a more varied percussion. Overall he felt the arc of the composition worked well and held the listeners interest. I look forward to other comments from the Forum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thatguy v2.0 Posted October 14 Share Posted October 14 I listened twice, and I was unsure where this was going or what the themes were leading to. There's cool orchestration, lots of tossing around material to different instruments, but I think having more clearly defined motifs or melodies would do this justice. Developing the motif at bar 14 would be a good idea, but I think you could apply that to the other themes you give us. In fact, to me you have enough material here to develop this whole piece to 10+ minutes. Of course, I'm no expert, I'm just a schmuck. 😄 Great start so far, looking forward to the updates! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterthePapercomPoser Posted October 14 Share Posted October 14 Hi @MJFOBOE I'll repeat what @Thatguy v2.0 mentioned that this has some cool themes and motifs that could be developed more. I like the canonic imitation between the trumpets. I think the timpani is used in sort of a cliched way. Alternating between 1 5 1 5 1 5 over and over on timpani is a very common trope in timpani parts that sound worn and boring to me. Thanks for sharing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJFOBOE Posted October 14 Author Share Posted October 14 (edited) 8 hours ago, Thatguy v2.0 said: I listened twice, and I was unsure where this was going or what the themes were leading to. There's cool orchestration, lots of tossing around material to different instruments, but I think having more clearly defined motifs or melodies would do this justice. Developing the motif at bar 14 would be a good idea, but I think you could apply that to the other themes you give us. In fact, to me you have enough material here to develop this whole piece to 10+ minutes. Of course, I'm no expert, I'm just a schmuck. 😄 Great start so far, looking forward to the updates! First of all ... thanks for the review! This is the first complete draft of ideas - so I am very pleased you feel that the work have more potential. I will continue to work on this project. I have begun to formulate some ideas to expand and strengthen the work. Looking for a name for the piece ... any ideas? One last word ... I when I composed the work it was the pulse and rhythm that drove my ideas. Mark Edited October 14 by MJFOBOE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex Weidmann Posted Sunday at 10:28 PM Share Posted Sunday at 10:28 PM (edited) Hi Mark. I enjoyed listening to this piece, as with all your works. It sounds quite militaristic to me: so perhaps you could call it "The Toy Soldier", or "The Clockwork Soldier", or something along those lines? My only other suggestion is you could consider adding mutes to the brass during some passages (or handstopping in the French horns), to create more variation in orchestral colour. There are lots of different mutes to choose from, each with a different effect: https://andrewhugill.com/OrchestraManual/trumpet_mutes.html Edited Sunday at 10:28 PM by Alex Weidmann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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