Awsumerguy Posted November 10 Posted November 10 I haven't posted anything new in ages: I've been busy with school work, so I haven't had as much time to dedicate to composing as before. That being said, that doesn't mean I haven't composed at all. I finished this piece just yesterday, and I felt like sharing it with everyone here. Let me know what you think! 😃 MP3 Play / pause JavaScript is required. 0:00 0:00 volume > next menu (Op. 12) Nocturne no. 1 in C minor > next PDF (Op. 12) Nocturne no. 1 in C minor Quote
Rich Posted November 13 Posted November 13 A- I wonderful piece overall. The progressions, formal logic and conception are sound and convincing. My one objection would be to some of the figurations for the right hand---rhythmically jarring perhaps beyond what is necessary or congruent with the work as a whole. Also, while I get the music box-like simplicity of the right hand playing single notes, I wonder if the piece wouldn't really POP if you introduced more harmonic depth/counterharmony in the right hand at places of elevated drama/emotional importance? I must say, there are so many small, thoughtful harmonic/melodic twists that really MAKE this piece--particularly endings of phrases and transitions. Clearly influenced by Chopin's take on Field's noctures. Very nice, and thank you for posting. PS: love the piano sample. 1 Quote
Awsumerguy Posted November 13 Author Posted November 13 @Rich, thank you for commenting! I appreciate your kind words. I spent more time on this piece than I ever have on my other works, so I'm glad the effort has paid off. I am curious about your observation regarding the right-hand figurations, though: could you point out some examples of those to me? I could take a look at it and see if I could fix anything 😅 I could really go on about that piano sample: I used two separate pianos on MuseScore to get the effect I wanted. I'm quite pleased someone noticed the difference in quality! 😃 Quote
Rich Posted November 13 Posted November 13 11 minutes ago, Awsumerguy said: I am curious about your observation regarding the right-hand figurations, though: could you point out some examples of those to me? I could take a look at it and see if I could fix anything 😅 Since you asked--- and I am aware these are very subjective things: The bar 11 lead in melissima-- (don't like it. The rhythmic feel is very jarring to me and out of keeping it seems. Another way?) The turns/gruppetos bar 24/ bars 54/55. (Single grace notes or short value lead-ins to main tone?) The grace notes figure at 42 (again-- something simpler?) Bar 21: 16th notes figure (something synchopated/another rhythmic feel??) Bar 41 milissima: (just ain't working for me--simpler?) Just my take. I know what its like for others to make suggestions--- you've spent a year on this and are very close to it. If I don't FEEL THE LOGIC of a change, I've learned just to leave it. It won't help if you don't internalize and believe. Most of these things aim to a simpler more direct effect--in keeping with lovely story you spin out. This is more about my musical sense (or nonsense!) that anything objective. Again, a lovely piece that shows the work! Quote
Awsumerguy Posted November 13 Author Posted November 13 5 minutes ago, Rich said: Just my take. I know what its like for others to make suggestions--- you've spent a year on this and are very close to it. If I don't FEEL THE LOGIC of a change, I've learned just to leave it. It won't help if you don't internalize and believe. Nah it's cool @Rich, I always welcome a little constructive feedback! None of my friends at school know anything about composing, so I've had to learn pretty much everything by scratch haha 😅 I'm aware that what is written on the sheet may not have been the particularly intended effect (i.e. a kind of improvisatory embellishment) I was going for. I'll look through it before I go to bed and consider what to do next. Again, thank you! Your comments are well appreciated 😊 Quote
MJFOBOE Posted November 14 Posted November 14 I really enjoyed the beautiful somber fluidity of the opening and closing material. However, from my perspective as a listener - I felt the key change at measure 32 created a very different mood. For me ... it was not congruent with the initial solemnity presented and/or not - didn't contrast enough to provide a juxtaposition/drama. Mark 1 Quote
Luis Hernández Posted Saturday at 09:04 AM Posted Saturday at 09:04 AM I also liked it very much. I think it has quite a lot of harmonic richness and the central part, being less somber, is well connected with the rest.by the left hand pattern and some melodic gestures. The modulation is somewhat original (Cm -- B), and it is reached in a peculiar way (by voice leading or, as one would say now, following some neo-Riemannian patterns). In measure 30, the first note in the bass should already be an A#, perhaps 2 Quote
Awsumerguy Posted Sunday at 01:23 PM Author Posted Sunday at 01:23 PM On 11/15/2024 at 5:29 AM, MJFOBOE said: I really enjoyed the beautiful somber fluidity of the opening and closing material. However, from my perspective as a listener - I felt the key change at measure 32 created a very different mood. For me ... it was not congruent with the initial solemnity presented and/or not - didn't contrast enough to provide a juxtaposition/drama. Mark Hello, @MJFOBOE! Thank you for the comment. I appreciate the time you took going through my work! 😊 While I originally had planned on maintaining a more sombre tone, I figured that'd get old somewhat quickly. After all, many of Chopin's nocturnes did not remain stagnant in a single key. An interesting thought, though! I might try writing sadder songs/pieces after this. Quote
Awsumerguy Posted Sunday at 01:24 PM Author Posted Sunday at 01:24 PM (edited) On 11/16/2024 at 4:04 PM, Luis Hernández said: I also liked it very much. I think it has quite a lot of harmonic richness and the central part, being less somber, is well connected with the rest.by the left hand pattern and some melodic gestures. The modulation is somewhat original (Cm -- B), and it is reached in a peculiar way (by voice leading or, as one would say now, following some neo-Riemannian patterns). In measure 30, the first note in the bass should already be an A#, perhaps Hello, @Luis Hernández! Good to see you again. Thank you for the compliment! I didn't suppose my harmony was particularly inventive, but I suppose that's what you get for composing on the piano for too long 😅 Edited Sunday at 02:39 PM by Awsumerguy Quote
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