Nocturne no. 1 in C minor

I haven't posted anything new in ages: I've been busy with school work, so I haven't had as much time to dedicate to composing as before. 

That being said, that doesn't mean I haven't composed at all. I finished this piece just yesterday, and I felt like sharing it with everyone here. Let me know what you think! 😃

A-

  I wonderful piece overall.  The progressions, formal logic and conception are sound and convincing.  My one objection would be to some of the figurations for the right hand---rhythmically jarring perhaps beyond what is necessary or congruent with the work as a whole.

   Also, while I get the music box-like simplicity of the right hand playing single notes, I wonder if the piece wouldn't really POP if you introduced more harmonic depth/counterharmony in the right hand at places of elevated drama/emotional importance?

   I must say, there are so many small, thoughtful harmonic/melodic twists that really MAKE this piece--particularly endings of phrases and transitions.  Clearly influenced by Chopin's take on Field's noctures.

  Very nice, and thank you for posting.

PS: love the piano sample.

@Rich, thank you for commenting! I appreciate your kind words.

I spent more time on this piece than I ever have on my other works, so I'm glad the effort has paid off. I am curious about your observation regarding the right-hand figurations, though: could you point out some examples of those to me? I could take a look at it and see if I could fix anything 😅

I could really go on about that piano sample: I used two separate pianos on MuseScore to get the effect I wanted. I'm quite pleased someone noticed the difference in quality! 😃

11 minutes ago, Awsumerguy said:

I am curious about your observation regarding the right-hand figurations, though: could you point out some examples of those to me? I could take a look at it and see if I could fix anything 😅

     Since you asked--- and I am aware these are very subjective things:

   The bar 11 lead in melissima-- (don't like it.   The rhythmic feel is very jarring to me and out of keeping it seems.  Another way?)

  The turns/gruppetos  bar 24/ bars 54/55.  (Single grace notes or short value lead-ins to main tone?)

  The grace notes figure at 42   (again-- something simpler?)

   Bar 21: 16th notes figure  (something synchopated/another rhythmic feel??)

 Bar 41 milissima:   (just ain't working for me--simpler?)

   Just my take.  I know what its like for others to make suggestions---  you've spent a year on this and are very close to it.  If I don't FEEL THE LOGIC of a change, I've learned just to leave it.  It won't help if you don't internalize and believe.

  Most of these things aim to a simpler more direct effect--in keeping with lovely story you spin out.

   This is more about my musical sense (or nonsense!) that anything objective.

Again, a lovely piece that shows the work!   

5 minutes ago, Rich said:

Just my take.  I know what its like for others to make suggestions---  you've spent a year on this and are very close to it.  If I don't FEEL THE LOGIC of a change, I've learned just to leave it.  It won't help if you don't internalize and believe.

Nah it's cool @Rich, I always welcome a little constructive feedback! None of my friends at school know anything about composing, so I've had to learn pretty much everything by scratch haha 😅

I'm aware that what is written on the sheet may not have been the particularly intended effect (i.e. a kind of improvisatory embellishment) I was going for. I'll look through it before I go to bed and consider what to do next.

Again, thank you! Your comments are well appreciated 😊

I really enjoyed the beautiful somber fluidity of the opening and closing material.   However, from my perspective as a listener - I felt the key change at measure 32 created a very different mood. For me ... it was not congruent with the initial solemnity presented and/or not - didn't contrast enough to provide a juxtaposition/drama.

Mark

I also liked it very much.
I think it has quite a lot of harmonic richness and the central part, being less somber, is well connected with the rest.by the left hand pattern and some melodic gestures.
The modulation is somewhat original (Cm -- B), and it is reached in a peculiar way (by voice leading or, as one would say now, following some neo-Riemannian patterns). In measure 30, the first note in the bass should already be an A#, perhaps

On 11/15/2024 at 5:29 AM, MJFOBOE said:

I really enjoyed the beautiful somber fluidity of the opening and closing material.   However, from my perspective as a listener - I felt the key change at measure 32 created a very different mood. For me ... it was not congruent with the initial solemnity presented and/or not - didn't contrast enough to provide a juxtaposition/drama.

Mark

 

Hello, @MJFOBOE! Thank you for the comment. I appreciate the time you took going through my work! 😊

While I originally had planned on maintaining a more sombre tone, I figured that'd get old somewhat quickly. After all, many of Chopin's nocturnes did not remain stagnant in a single key. An interesting thought, though! I might try writing sadder songs/pieces after this.

On 11/16/2024 at 4:04 PM, Luis Hernández said:

I also liked it very much.
I think it has quite a lot of harmonic richness and the central part, being less somber, is well connected with the rest.by the left hand pattern and some melodic gestures.
The modulation is somewhat original (Cm -- B), and it is reached in a peculiar way (by voice leading or, as one would say now, following some neo-Riemannian patterns). In measure 30, the first note in the bass should already be an A#, perhaps

 

Hello, @Luis Hernández! Good to see you again.

Thank you for the compliment! I didn't suppose my harmony was particularly inventive, but I suppose that's what you get for composing on the piano for too long 😅

I like the build-up. I find the rhythm being somewhat unpredictable and a bit " jarring as acceptable here, as representations of underlying emotional currents surfacing. Though I do agree with @Rich that w regard to the lh bass  there can be more complex harmony and harmonic progressions, I would even suggest some rhythmic variations. Those parts with dramatic potential can be tapped on to provide contrasts to parts which  sounds best when kept simple.

These said, I enjoyed your piece. Thanks for posting!

@Awsumerguy and oh my, same here, I have been busy with school and only have time to catch up on composing now! hahah!

Hello, @Aw Ke Shen! Thank you for commenting on my work.

1 hour ago, Aw Ke Shen said:

I like the build-up. I find the rhythm being somewhat unpredictable and a bit " jarring as acceptable here, as representations of underlying emotional currents surfacing. 

That's certainly a surprise to me; I thought the bassline felt a little rigid after I finished composing, but I suppose that's neither here nor there. Maybe I'm being a little self critical. Either way, I appreciate the positive sentiment! 

1 hour ago, Aw Ke Shen said:

@Awsumerguy and oh my, same here, I have been busy with school and only have time to catch up on composing now! hahah!

😭 Good to see I'm not alone in this. Keep fighting!

Hi @Awsumerguy,

I really like your C minor section, beautiful melody and aura! I actually like the false realtion of Ab and A natural in b.10! And all those dissonances I feel they have great effect ! Those colouratura are great too and fit for a Chopinistic noturne style too! I also like b.25's florish colouratura.

I'm less in liking the modulations as I feel like it's a bit forceful. Apart from the key I feel like the mood has not been changed, maybe because the left figuration, texture and tempo remain the same! I think you can bring in more contrast in the middle section. The modulation back to C minor in b.55 sounds very forceful for me personally. Maybe a deceptive cadence on G major then reinterpreted as the dominant of C minor would bring the music back to its tonic key more smoothly!

The ending section is lovely, but I feel like it's too short! Also I think the ending on Eb major is not prepared enough! I think you can have a longer passage lingered on that key and a longer preparation, as in Chopin's F minor nocturne or his F# minor nocturne when both of the works ends on the tonic major but with a much longer preparation to it!

For the melody I would personally love A natural - B natural rather than the minor 2nd of Ab-B nat! 

Despite being nitpicky, I really like the piece, especially the opening. Thx for sharing!

On 11/11/2024 at 6:58 AM, Awsumerguy said:

I've been busy with school work, so I haven't had as much time to dedicate to composing as before. 

Me too with my full time job ! Finally I can review now!

Henry