Moment musicaux in E minor

I have to compose a chamber piece for my final exams for school this year and I wrote this, it is an uninspired work and I personally think it is mediocre but it gets its job done as the subject is not very high level (we are encouraged to mostly use I IV V I, but higher level is fine) (we weren’t taught counterpoint) 

I think the playback really takes away some quality

https://flat.io/score/65fac723fcf4dd81db3a3d59?sharingKey=ddd22da641baa7021a0f3fc031fdc35de6c6d27fed1acd84d930f68340714792324a6445bf990481e26352e79920fce9bf60f3f01139fe9e31dd99507321d308

I am looking for feedback to improve it, specially the details.

Thanks 

BTW: there are things that are obviously wrong, but I didn’t bother to make them music yet and I just outlined the chords, specially on the cello

Hi Jqh!

After listening to your piece I must say that the way you explore different rythms is quite good! (p.e: use of duplets and quadruplets or playing the same melody by two instruments but with rythm diferences) also, the key changes are well done, it all makes this piece to sound very modern, like it's from a movie!

I think you could improve it a lot by paying attention to voice movements and chord links, some dissonances are not well resolved or prepared.

In the other hand, the chromatic movements you used are interesting but I would use a A-/E E7 at b.4 and not only a A-, because the D#dim7 chord you used before wants to resolve to E. 

Besides, I'd use bass clef for the last bar and no to do those double notes at bar 3 (in the image)

Hello @Samuel_vangogh Thanks for your feedback.

Could you expand on the preparing and resolving of dissonances? Could you recommend a book or website where I can learn the rules of how to resolve and prepare dissonances?

What do you mean with A-/E E7, I am not very familiar with the chord notation you used here?

For the image, it was just an attempt at a connecting passage, but I will probably just extend the part before to make it link to the part after

1 minute ago, Jqh73o said:

Could you expand on the preparing and resolving of dissonances?

Well, both «harmony» and «counterpoint» by piston will do you well.

As for the A-/E to E7

Its an A minor chord but with an E on the bass (instead of an A) that goes to E7 (e g# b d)

Hi @Jqh73o!

Overall, the piece has some nice chromatic lines and an intriguing melody.  I felt like the ending was a bit out of place.  It almost made the piece sound like it was unfinished and like you meant to continue to a section in the 6/4 meter (which I'm not really sure the purpose of that metric change right near the end of the piece when it's equivalent to 12/8 anyway).  The rendition is a bit grating on the ears.  Musescore Studio's Musesounds has solo strings samples that are much better sounding and would give a better impression imo!  Also, in chamber music both the solo string instruments would normally be placed above the piano in the score order (although, apparently there's some fervent debate about this very topic on Reddit:

Thanks for sharing!

Hello @PeterthePapercomPoser, thanks for your feedback.

The ending doesn’t convince me too much either, what do you think that could be done there?

I completely agree in the fact that the strings have a horrible sound, I will try to solve that problem in the future

About the orden of the instruments, it was originally written for piano and violin, so when I added the cello it appeared there, and I was too lazy to change it.

9 minutes ago, Jqh73o said:

The ending doesn’t convince me too much either, what do you think that could be done there?

I listened again, and it seems like if you just removed the very last bar and made a ritardando instead of accelerando in bar 38 it might make it sound more conclusive.  Especially since you finally end on an E major chord instead of the E minor that has been the tonic up to that point - it will sound like a Picardy third.

4 hours ago, Jqh73o said:

The ending doesn’t convince me too much either, what do you think that could be done there?

Hello there

I thought the ending figure was cool, but maybe out of place. Like Peter said, you could scrap it all together, or you could incorporate that into your previous cadences. Give a reason to have it as the ending, you know?

Some time has passed since you posted this... are you revising it or moving on to other works? Regardless, you seemed to be concentrating on practicing developing your material with this one, and I think you achieved that to some degree. I'm curious on how it sounds after some revisions with the feedback you've received. Nice work 🙂 

Hello @Thatguy v2.0, thanks for the feedback. I think I will eliminate the ending figure, specially since this one specifically is not a really inspired composition, it is just for my examinations, and I want to avoid it looking overly unusual
 

I am now in the process of writing three other pieces. But knowing myself, they will either remain forever unfinished, be left for much later or just take an absurdly long amount of time to finish. I will have to revise this one again around mid February, though.