Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

Hey guys... Im bad about prematurely sharing things. Sure, it was mostly finished before, but I felt it was missing something. 

The key is now written in D Minor (my favorite key tbh), and I added a bridge section to it as well. It felt too repetitive to me, honestly without something to break the pattern... 

Let me know what y'all think? 🙂

 

Edited by UncleRed99
Added a bridge section to the piece, and a Violin 2 solo
MP3
0:00
0:00
PDF
Posted

Hey @UncleRed99!

I think I've heard the old version of this but not sure if I've reviewed it yet.  I really like this piece!  It's got a lot going for it.  I think it creates a perfect melancholic soundscape that could really work well as a background to some kind of mystery game.  It kinda reminds me of music I might hear in a level of a hidden object game I used to play on my cellphone.  It has a really nice harmonic structure, with use of the bVII and modulation to G minor.  Not all of it is melancholic, but when it is, it is nicely flavored by the natural 7th degree, giving that really nice minor major 7 harmony that is so mysterious.  Great use of string orchestra as well as solo instruments.  Dynamics are also great - there's a natural ebb and flow as the music rises and falls in volume.  The only thing I would say could improve the rendition is to make the top melodic notes of the piano to "pop" more by editing the velocities to bring them out above the rest of the notes.  Right now it sounds like all your notes are of equal importance in the piano.  But this is homophonic, so there should be a clear hierarchy of importance with the melody being brought out in high relief and accompanimental notes brought down.  That's my only gripe.  Thanks for sharing this very affecting, heartwarming but in many places, mourning piece.  Great job.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said:

Hey @UncleRed99!

I think I've heard the old version of this but not sure if I've reviewed it yet.  I really like this piece!  It's got a lot going for it.  I think it creates a perfect melancholic soundscape that could really work well as a background to some kind of mystery game.  It kinda reminds me of music I might hear in a level of a hidden object game I used to play on my cellphone.  It has a really nice harmonic structure, with use of the bVII and modulation to G minor.  Not all of it is melancholic, but when it is, it is nicely flavored by the natural 7th degree, giving that really nice minor major 7 harmony that is so mysterious.  Great use of string orchestra as well as solo instruments.  Dynamics are also great - there's a natural ebb and flow as the music rises and falls in volume.  The only thing I would say could improve the rendition is to make the top melodic notes of the piano to "pop" more by editing the velocities to bring them out above the rest of the notes.  Right now it sounds like all your notes are of equal importance in the piano.  But this is homophonic, so there should be a clear hierarchy of importance with the melody being brought out in high relief and accompanimental notes brought down.  That's my only gripe.  Thanks for sharing this very affecting, heartwarming but in many places, mourning piece.  Great job.

 

@PeterthePapercomPoser, I always appreciate your detailed feedback! I'm glad you pointed it out to me because I thought something was off with the balancing, but for some reason, I was ear-blind to it. However, I noticed the balancing problem right after the bridge when I went back and listened to the playback while reading along again. I notated the triplets in the piano right-hand staff but couldn't hear them ring out as I had expected.

I'm pleased that you were able to enjoy it nonetheless. I know that my pieces tend to evoke sadder emotions. I have noticed that most male composers I've met tend to express similar emotions, likely due to societal standards that typically prohibit other forms of emotional expression. I believe my way of expressing it follows the same reasons. It feels gratifying to know that someone else was able to understand all of my intended expressions within a work. Thank you again for your dedication to peer review, both here and in the forum, and for your ability to provide excellent reviews while acknowledging the composer's intentions throughout their work. You are a true gentleman, sir 😉

Sidenote:
I've also taken the time to create a separate piano score for this piece, engraved specifically for solo piano. One of my old music directors from high school, of whom I have kept consistent contact with over the years, had recently obtained his Master's degree in Music, and is a director for a local church organization. He's a beast at the bench with Ivory & Ebony. He's offered to practice, play, and record it for me, so whenever he finds that time to do it for me, I will be certain to share it here to showcase the Piece in action, with some realistic human emotional touches added! I'm excited for it. 😅

Edited by UncleRed99
  • Thanks 1

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...