The Wrong Way with You

Hi there

I'm going to be recording some demos of new songs, but in the meantime I'm self-recording just to have them to pitch. I'd love some feedback on this and the upcoming songs, especially all you talented vocalists and lyricists. I'm really interested in improving my vocals. 

This is a quick recording, I'm really hoping for ideas on how to improve the melody or guitar parts since this recording won't be final. 

It's pretty simple, pop-ish chord progressions, nothing crazy. Even if you don't comment, thanks for checking out my music 🙂 

***

Lyrics:

I've no fear of the sea

cause with you I can tread higher water

even if we drift off with the breeze

I'll go the wrong way with you

*

When we drive down the road

I get lost in the way you direct us

no matter how far we are from home

I want the wrong way with you

*

When I get back from working

I come home to karaoke

and your voice fills the room

an out of key symphony

but I can't help it, I'm in love

*

I tend the fire at night

the warm light dancing free all around us

I wish the sun would never come up again

so I can stay right here with you

down the wrong road with you

and I love the wrong way with you

any other one just wouldn't do

when you're here, wherever we are feels right inside

and I'll always throw away the guide 

and walk, the wrong way with you

Hey @Thatguy v2.0!

I love this song!  Nice message in the lyrics too - not your typical sappy love song.  I love how the piece ends on such an extended verse - it also definitely doesn't follow your standard verse - chorus - verse structure especially with that ending.  There's lots of cool inflections in the guitar chords too that make the piece custom and far from standard.  Thanks for sharing!

Hey Vince,

I love how this song features your lower vocal range. Combining the B major sound (or C major in the score) it really shows calmness but not without power. 

The silence after the outburst of wishing the sun never to come up again is nice, the next sentence “so I can stay right here with you” sounds like a monologue or soliloquy which you don’t tell to your love.

I also love the 3 beginning lyrics with the same note B. They sound like only when you had excitement of the sea, went the wrong way and light up the fire you had colour in both the music and your life.

3 hours ago, Thatguy v2.0 said:

It's pretty simple, pop-ish chord progressions, nothing crazy.

I love how simple this is. Simplicity is always the most needed thing in our lives LoL.

Thx for sharing!

Henry

3 hours ago, PeterthePapercomPoser said:

I love this song!  Nice message in the lyrics too - not your typical sappy love song.  I love how the piece ends on such an extended verse - it also definitely doesn't follow your standard verse - chorus - verse structure especially with that ending.  There's lots of cool inflections in the guitar chords too that make the piece custom and far from standard.  Thanks for sharing!

Thanks Peter, I'm glad you dug the form, even if it was a bit unconventional. Glad you enjoyed the playing too! 🙂 

14 minutes ago, Henry Ng Tsz Kiu said:

The silence after the outburst of wishing the sun never to come up again is nice, the next sentence “so I can stay right here with you” sounds like a monologue or soliloquy which you don’t tell to your love.

I also love the 3 beginning lyrics with the same note B. They sound like only when you had excitement of the sea, went the wrong way and light up the fire you had colour in both the music and your life.

I love this. You're a poet my good man 🙂 Thanks for checking it out Henry

Nice. Sounds like it has the potential for a hit country/folk song tbh

I would say that the vocal melody phrasing could use some work on the last lines of each verse. It feels like the last line goes on just a bit too long, melodically.

I would also say the instrumental gap between verse 1 and 2 is too long and makes it feel awkward. 

@AngelCityOutlaw

Hey man, thanks for the feedback. Hope you're busy and well.

16 hours ago, AngelCityOutlaw said:

I would say that the vocal melody phrasing could use some work on the last lines of each verse.

yeah I'm open to this, I'll tinker with it

17 hours ago, AngelCityOutlaw said:

It feels like the last line goes on just a bit too long, melodically.

at the end of the song? or the last line of the verses?

17 hours ago, AngelCityOutlaw said:

I would also say the instrumental gap between verse 1 and 2 is too long and makes it feel awkward. 

agreed

You're awesome, thanks buddy