feedback wanted "A Promise With You" - Collaborative Composition - Completed! Seeking Critique

I posted this piece probably about 2 months ago or so, looking for feedback during its initial rough drafted phase. 
 

And @Henry Ng Tsz Kiu, I never did figure out a solid way to modulate in that one section, so if you see this, I hope you'll forgive the short 1-beat triplet used for the transition 😅 I tried my best but my brain wasn't working in the transition department. 

The original piece (written for solo piano) by Masao Aichi can be found here (includes playback using MuseSounds)

I left some advice on his post there, explaining that monotony isn't typically the best approach to writing something that you'd like to have heard by a lot of people, and have them listen to it more than once or even all the way through. Scientifically, it's been shown that after 3 repetitions of the same thing, the human brain begins to tune it out. 2 repetitions engrains an idea, 1 repetition reinforces an idea, and no repetitions create a forgetful idea. 

So, in the spirit of helping to educate less experienced composers, I took his original piece shown above and created this work which includes a string ensemble accompaniment. He was elated with the result. I hope y'all will be too! Let me know what y'all think. 

-UncleRed

A_Promise_With_You_-_Masao_Aichi__Kyle_Hilton__UncleRed99.pdf

Lovely "Schmaltz"!

Mark