feedback wanted "A Promise With You" - Collaborative Composition - Completed! Seeking Critique

I posted this piece probably about 2 months ago or so, looking for feedback during its initial rough drafted phase. 
 

And @Henry Ng Tsz Kiu, I never did figure out a solid way to modulate in that one section, so if you see this, I hope you'll forgive the short 1-beat triplet used for the transition 😅 I tried my best but my brain wasn't working in the transition department. 

The original piece (written for solo piano) by Masao Aichi can be found here (includes playback using MuseSounds)

I left some advice on his post there, explaining that monotony isn't typically the best approach to writing something that you'd like to have heard by a lot of people, and have them listen to it more than once or even all the way through. Scientifically, it's been shown that after 3 repetitions of the same thing, the human brain begins to tune it out. 2 repetitions engrains an idea, 1 repetition reinforces an idea, and no repetitions create a forgetful idea. 

So, in the spirit of helping to educate less experienced composers, I took his original piece shown above and created this work which includes a string ensemble accompaniment. He was elated with the result. I hope y'all will be too! Let me know what y'all think. 

-UncleRed

A_Promise_With_You_-_Masao_Aichi__Kyle_Hilton__UncleRed99.pdf

Lovely "Schmaltz"!

Mark

Hi @UncleRed99,

On 2/14/2025 at 7:17 AM, UncleRed99 said:

And @Henry Ng Tsz Kiu, I never did figure out a solid way to modulate in that one section, so if you see this, I hope you'll forgive the short 1-beat triplet used for the transition 😅 I tried my best but my brain wasn't working in the transition department. 

Sadly Henry Ng Tsz Kiu never exists anymore, at least at this moment... We wish him all the best and hope he can finish the Sextet asap so he can return....

For me I would modulate in b.27 to dominant B minor, but that's Mr. Sextet's choice and it's personal.

On 2/14/2025 at 7:17 AM, UncleRed99 said:

Scientifically, it's been shown that after 3 repetitions of the same thing, the human brain begins to tune it out. 2 repetitions engrains an idea, 1 repetition reinforces an idea, and no repetitions create a forgetful idea. 

Epic!!

The modulation to G minor I can recall now that it sounds like Richard Clayderman. The whole piece sounds like him. Your instrumentation really enhances the atmosphere of the piece, especially those cello moments.

Thx for sharing Kyle!

Sextet

On 2/22/2025 at 9:10 PM, Finish the Sextet said:

Sadly Henry Ng Tsz Kiu never exists anymore, at least at this moment... We wish him all the best and hope he can finish the Sextet asap so he can return....

For me I would modulate in b.27 to dominant B minor, but that's Mr. Sextet's choice and it's personal.

Hi Henry, I mean, sextet 

Thanks for the suggestion to modulate to Dominant B Minor! I will play around with it, definitely !!! 

On 2/22/2025 at 9:10 PM, Finish the Sextet said:

Epic!!

The modulation to G minor I can recall now that it sounds like Richard Clayderman. The whole piece sounds like him. Your instrumentation really enhances the atmosphere of the piece, especially those cello moments.

Thx for sharing Kyle!

Sextet

Thank you for the feedback! I'm glad I was able to do it some justice, in the end 🙂 This was a fun project using a novice piano composer's work as the root of it. The kid had some awesome ideas and with his permission I was able to capitalize on them and add some more "educated" grammar, notation, engraving and structure to it. Even more gratifying that he found it mind-blowing, and expressed that he felt invigorated to advance their knowledge and improve their skills. I think he is already off to a good start, how about you?