Overture in G

I've been grappling with whether i should post some old pieces of mine. On one hand, i really like a lot of the material in them, on the other, they're... well, old crxppy pieces XD. I looked them over to see if reworking them would be worthwhile - most of them I'd have to change so drastically that, especially since i've become so attached to them in their current state, i couldn't bring myself to do it. Others could be reworked, but when I tried doing so, I realized i didn't quite have the skillset. So, although i feel a bit icky about posting pieces that are littered with flaws that i'm already aware of, i think i'll be posting them one by one on here and hopefully perspectives of others will help. I also realized i could include an annotated copy of the score for each piece, with everything i can tell is wrong with it but don't know how to fix.

Please enjoy the first piece, an overture i wrote in keyboard reduction style all the way back in 2018.

Hello @user011235!

I don't see a problem with any of your annotated "mistakes" in your score.  The key of C major is not a distantly related key and it's expected that closely related keys will be explored in the development.  Another thing that sometimes happens in development sections is the occasional introduction of a new theme, which I think is okay as well.  Perhaps the G-B third going to a D-F# third in bar 4 could be considered a contrapuntal mistake because the melody and it's doubling both leap by a fourth.  Although I do remember that it's much much worse if two consecutive leaps of a 4th in the same direction occur.  Alternating from one octave to another in the bass is a very common trick to introduce motion and musical interest to a bass line that would otherwise be more static.  In measure 29 the bass can basically be analyzed as a 6/3 (1st inversion) chord since those are the chords that occur on the strong beats followed by passing 6/4 (2nd inversion) chords that don't change the triad.  When you're outlining triads in this way it is not analyzed as harmonic motion since the chord stays the same it just introduces some welcome motion in the bass line.

But all those annotations are but irrelevant details in comparison to what I perceive to be the more important problems that this composition has.  The first thing that I assumed when listening to this is that it is not really meant to be a keyboard piece per se, but a keyboard reduction of an orchestral piece (hence the title of overture).  I think it could really work well as such and many of the problems with whether the piece can be performed on a keyboard in its current state would be addressed in an orchestration.  Another potential title for it that would be more appropriate for it as a keyboard work would be "Sonata in G" since it seems obvious to me that your goal was to write a piece in sonata form when you set out to write this piece.  Now to the most difficult problem to deal with:  the very awkward phrasing.  It is not unusual in a Mozart or Haydn Sonata or Symphony to find the odd three, five or seven measure phrase here and there, sometimes because of elision where the end of one phrase is simultaneously the beginning of another.  Other times because the theme group is coming to a conclusion and a three measure codetta rounds it out nicely etc.  But your phrases after the introduction of the main theme group lack definition and direction and seem to just keep going and going for their own sake, reveling and celebrating in their own exuberance for too long when it might have been more appropriate to be succinct.  This is not an easy problem to fix and it takes an evolved sense of musicality.  Perhaps studying the galant schema might help to become more aware of the expectations espoused by different kinds of musical statements and how to properly and in due time conclude phrases?  I've myself only begun to read Gjerdingen Galant Schemata book.  But this is definitely a great start and has a lot going for it!  Thanks for sharing.

@PeterthePapercomPoser, thank you for your review! The annotations you clarified are appreciated. And I completely agree about the phrases, you put into words what i couldn't.

I thought this was quite nice.  Certainly would be a good opening movement for a sonata.

7 hours ago, bkho said:

I thought this was quite nice.  Certainly would be a good opening movement for a sonata.

 

Thanks!