Hymn to Aphrodite - Tone Poem for Band

Here is my 3rd and latest composition.

It is a tone poem based on a poem by the first european female author, Sapho. I hope you like it and I would like some feedback.

Here is the poem "Hymn to Aphrodite" in English.

Iridescent-throned Aphrodite, deathless
Child of Zeus, wile-weaver, I now implore you,
Don’t–I beg you, Lady–with pains and torments
Crush down my spirit,

But before if ever you’ve heard my pleadings
Then return, as once when you left your father’s
Golden house; you yoked to your shining car your
Wing-whirring sparrows;

Skimming down the paths of the sky’s bright ether
On they brought you over the earth’s black bosom,
Swiftly–then you stood with a sudden brilliance,
Goddess,before me;Deathless face alight with your smile, you asked me

What I suffered, who was my cause of anguish,
What would ease the pain of my frantic mind, and
Why had I called you

To my side: “And whom should Persuasion summon
Here, to soothe the sting of your passion this time?
Who is now abusing you, Sappho? Who is
Treating you cruelly?

Now she runs away, but she’ll soon pursue you;
Gifts she now rejects–soon enough she’ll give them;
Now she doesn’t love you, but soon her heart will
Burn, though unwilling.

“Come to me once more, and abate my torment;
Take the bitter care from my mind, and give me
All I long for; Lady, in all my battles
Fight as my comrade.

I like it sounds nice. Definitely a large contrast between the first part and kind of follows the structure of ABA. At “ritmico” the crash cymbals would sound better if they were choked. with the audio The slower parts were not really as clear and sounded kind of muddy and blurry, but that was probably a playback thing. Nice work with the low brass and the feature with that.