Favourite Composition Devices

What did the drummer get on his IQ test?

Drool.

We could go on like this ad infinitum, but it could get tiring.

Viola jokes are better :D

- Why are violas larger than violins?

- They're not, it's an optical illusion: the violists' heads are smaller.

- What's the difference between a viola and a trampolin?

- You take off your shoes when jumping on a trampolin.

- Why can't you hear the viola section in new digital recordings?

- Modern technology is so advanced that it removes any traces of background noise.

- How is lightning like a violist's fingers?

- Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

- How do you keep your violin from getting stolen?

- Put it in a viola case.

- How do you get a viola section to play spiccato?

- Write a whole note with "solo" above it.

- What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

- The coffin has the dead person on the inside.

- What's the difference between a viola and an onion?

- No one cries when you cut up a viola.

- What's the definiton of "perfect pitch?"

- Throwing a viola into a dumpster without hitting the rim.

- What's the difference between a washing machine and a violist?

- Vibrato.

- How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune?

- The bow is moving.

- Why do violists leave their instrument cases on the dashboards of their cars?

- So they can park in "handicapped" parking places.

- Why don't violists play hide and seek?

- Because no one will look for them.

- A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. which one do you run over first, and why?

- The conductor. Business before pleasure.

- What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

- Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

- What do a SCUD missile and a viola player have in common?

- They're both offensive and inaccurate.

- What is the range of a Viola?

- As far as you can kick it.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Vibrato!!!

- What's the difference between a chain saw and a viola?

- If you absolutely had to, you could use a chain saw in a string quartet.

- Why do violists get antsy when they see the Kama Sutra?

- All those positions!

- If you're lost in the desert, what do you aim for? A good viola player, a bad viola player or an oasis?

- The bad viola player. The other two are only figments of your imagination.

- Why shouldn't you drive off a cliff in a mini with three violas in it?

- You could fit in at least one more.

- What is the longest viola joke ever written?

- Harold in Italy.

- Why do people tremble with fear when someone comes into a bank carrying a violin case?

- They think he's carrying a machine gun and might be about to use it.

- Why do people tremble with fear when someone comes into a bank carrying a viola case?

- They think he's carrying a viola and might be about to use it.

- Did you hear about the violist who bragged that he could play 32nd notes?

- The rest of the orchestra didn't believe him, so he proved it by playing one.

- Why is viola called "bratsche" in Germany?

- Because that's the sound it makes when you sit down on it.

- What instrument do violists envy most?

- The harp. You only ever have to play pizzicato on open strings.

- What is the difference between a violist and a prostitute?

- A prostitute knows more than two positions.

- Prostitutes have a better sense of rhythm.

- What is the *similarity* between a violist and a prostitute?

- Both are paid to fake climaxes.

- How do you get a dozen violists to play in tune?

- Shoot 11 of them.

- Shoot all of them.

- Who the hell wants a dozen violists?

- What's the latest crime wave in New York City?

- Drive-by viola recitals.

- How do you call a violist with two brain cells?

- Pregnant.

- What's the similarity between the Beatles and the viola section of the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra?

- Neither has played together since 1970.

- What do you call a bunch of violists in a hot tub?

- Vegetable soup.

- Did you hear about the violist who played in tune?

- Neither did I.

- What is the main reqirement at the "International Viola Competition?"

- Hold the viola from memory.

- How do you transcribe a violin piece for viola?

- Divide the metronome marking by 2.

- How do you keep a violist from drowning?

- Take your foot off his head.

If you're all nice kids I'll show the Viola Stories jokes :D

i have so many. i'll give three.

1.forte low notes on a piano

2.anything on a timpani

3.high trills

Wow, impressive onslaught Tomas :)

Let me explain on what Igor meant with that (as the rumour has it at least).

when you imitate you never make something your own. You are not yourself but someone else.

When you steal, on the other hand, you take it and make it yours, you are no longer someone else, but yourself!

:)

Hi Nikolas,

I do totaly agree with you and Igor. When we assimilate technics or musical ideas, we can use them and make them ours.

Each time I hear music, I learn something, my brain steal concepts ! This how I progress.

Max

That is how I take it. I listen to so much music all the time, I hope I am getting something out of it. Stravinsky had a few good quotes. One of my favorites is something like 'Harp players spend 90% of their time tuning, and 10% playing out of tune'.

Colin Thomson

That is how I take it. I listen to so much music all the time, I hope I am getting something out of it. Stravinsky had a few good quotes. One of my favorites is something like 'Harp players spend 90% of their time tuning, and 10% playing out of tune'.

Colin Thomson

As a guitarist, I hear that applied way more often to my people. And damn, is it accurate, especially when referring to me.

And as long as we're quoting Stravinsky, let me just repeat the greatest quote ever:

"For I consider that music is, by its very nature, essentially powerless to express anything at all, whether a feeling, an attitude of mind, a psychological mood, a phenomenon of nature, etc....Expression has never been an inherent property of music. That is by no means the purpose of its existence. If, as is nearly always the case, music appears to express something, this is only an illusion and not a reality. It is simply an additional attribute which, by tacit and inveterate agreement, we have lent it, thrust upon it, as a label, a convention - in short, an aspect unconsciously or by force of habit, we have come to confuse with its essential being."

That gives me wood.

That's an awesome quote.

It's what I mean when I say "Music is not a language."

You know what man, whatever works. Whatever works. If I were to choose a technique that I love doing, particularly for theater works, is stealing cues from popular songs, national anthems, and cliched stereotypes (i.e. chinese chords) for humourous effect.

I love tenor saxes...grainger said it best

double stroke snare rolls

suspended cymbal and timpani rolls together

timpani and chime doubling

marimba and low clarinet doublings (really, check out gillingham's piece "Be Thou, My Vision. It's beautiful)

quiet, light sections played by the woods and then fortissimo, ball-shattering brass syncopation (grainger again :happy:)

I could go on...just check out a score of Lincolnshire Posy. It's an amazing sound. Especially the 5th movement. It starts in free time, every note given by the conductor. or the third movement, with high piccolo doubled with low clarinet...or bassoon, i forget which. It's all very good stuff

Tenor saxes - :wub:

I don't believe that last quote by Igor. Music, which is the product of sound interpreted by human beings to be aesthetically pleasing, is inherently expression. Sound, which comprises music, is not inherently expression.

As for my own techniques, I like traditional harmony normally... but also, well-placed dissonances that aren't used traditionally (a la Whitacre) can be very beautiful. I need to do more of that. I love ensembles that you would never expect to see, such as... taking this from one of my own... harp, oboe, guitar, bass, violin and synthpad. ;) Sometimes I don't like the restrictions put on ensembles so I put whatever I want in a piece. I love technical passages, especially improvised, especially combined smoothly with slower and less complicated passages. I like lush percussive sections, and sometimes a drum set with creative fills works great. Yeah, I'm a fan of rockin' drums. Love portamento too.

I don't believe that last quote by Igor. Music, which is the product of sound interpreted by human beings to be aesthetically pleasing, is inherently expression. Sound, which comprises music, is not inherently expression.

Answer this: Is music just a type of sound, or is it a different entity altogether?

Answer this: Is music just a type of sound, or is it a different entity altogether?

That will vary depending on the listener. Different ears, different levels of comprehension, different perspectives.

To me, any and all sounds can be musical, depending on the intent and energy involved in creating them.

That will vary depending on the listener. Different ears, different levels of comprehension, different perspectives.

To me, any and all sounds can be musical, depending on the intent and energy involved in creating them.

Even drums? Damn.

Even drums? Damn.

Regretfully, yes.

To me music is a type of sound. That only makes sense, eh?

The really low notes on a piano

Combining clarinet and oboe

Combining oboe and flute

Combining clarinet and oboe

BASSOONS AND FRENCH HORNS (a combination not used often enoguh)

Bartok Pizzicato :)

Sharping the seventh in a minor key without fail

Reworking obscure melodies when I'm lacking inspiration.